The Musings of a Lost Love
by englishsummerain
Summary: Harry muses about the only girl he ever loved, but not all fairy tales have a happy ending.
1. Default Chapter

The Musings of a Lost Love

Hermione always had loved him, even when he was an insensitive prat. So why did I think I had a chance with her? Perhaps because he constantly argued with her, I believed she didn't love him; but you know the saying, opposites attract. I was a tad clueless at first; it seemed highly improbable.  As for him, he knew he loved her from the fourth-year Yule Ball when he finally noticed she was a girl. They started dating from seventh year; it took them a little time to break the boundaries. He had promised to love her forever.

 She was the happiest I had ever seen her. Yet I remained the "happy supporter", who secretly wanted the brilliant girl to be mine. Not that anyone could own her, of course.

Then he was gone, died heroically in battle. That's around the time we started dating; I always knew from the pit of my stomach that she was just filling me in place of the deep chasm he had taken away from her heart. But I refused to listen to this gut instinct, which haunted my dreams. I imagined that he had come back from the dead calling for her to join him; and she did. Without even pondering the choices for a second, she did. That part hurt the most. The sad irony is, if I had listened to that premonition I would be away from these tortuous thoughts that still disturb me.

And as the twist of fate would have it, he was never killed; her love had kept him alive. She was ecstatic when she found out; she was practically glowing from the radiance she displayed, a radiance _I_ could never put on her face. All I could do is pretend to be happy.

I was ashamed at myself for wishing him still to be deceased. This way, all of Hermione's memories of him to stay obscured under and she would still love me.

But alas, I always knew she was not rightfully mine. He promised _he would_ _love her forever. _This phrase would also begin to trouble my existence.

A/N

This is only the first chapter, it is not a "one-shot".

Sorry, the story will get better later on (if I decide to continue).

I realized AFTER I wrote it is a TAD bit like Pearl Harbor.

This was not intentional and the story doesn't turn out like the movie at all.

Thanks everyone

englishsummerain


	2. prologue cont'd

So she left me for him.

It's not that hard to believe….

She never bothered to inquire how I felt about this whole situation, not even a "how do you feel?" No it was only, "I am so unbelievably happy!"

That phrase makes me sick to my stomach

 She claimed for the short period of time where she was still with me that everything was so beautiful, the nature, the animals, her life. The list goes on forever. All I could do was laugh, laugh at the satire that is my life; for everything was the exact opposite for me.

So I guess this brings me to the point I am at now. Lying on my couch; which still has her fragrance.

A musty library.

I was always partial to that smell.

So here is the story of my life.

Single, old Harry Potter. Died as a lonely, bitter old man. I can imagine it now.

And to think, my life was supposed to be a fairytale

Well fuck you Cinderella.

Sometimes I look back at my Hogwarts years and wonder how I survived it all. Seeing them as such a content couple.

I HATE HER!

Why does that sound so foreign in my mouth?

Maybe because I know I love her more than love itself.

I casually glance out the window. The whole world looked like it was against me. The trees seemed to loom above my cold, empty room. The crows cackled at me, seemingly as if they knew my misfortune.

The nerve of Draco! He didn't even come tell me after he was found.

But the thing that hurt the most…

When she left me, she didn't even say goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters otherwise right now I would be suing J. K. Rowling

A/N

I know the first two chapters are REALLY short but I promise them to be longer

These first two chapters were also sort of prologues. The real story begins… it gets a lot better, trust me

R/R to keep it raining! (LOL)

englishsummerain


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